Sunday Service

Those who do the most growing in this life are those who offer the most compassion to the parts of themselves that have not yet grown.

~ Andrea Gibson

We must admit—compassion is not always easy. Still, we choose it. Not because the world is kind, but because we can be.

~ David Breeden

 There is a hierarchy of responses when we encounter suffering. Pity says, “I see your pain.” Sympathy says “I understand your pain.” Empathy says, “I feel your pain.” Compassion says “I am with you in your pain and I will help.”

~ Rabbi Esther Adler

We were all broken from the same nameless heart, and every living thing wakes with a piece of that original heart aching its way into blossom. This is why we know each other below our strangeness, why when we fall, we lift each other, or when in pain, we hold each other, why when sudden with joy, we dance together. Life is the many pieces of that great heart loving itself back together.

~Mark Nepo

True compassion is more than flinging a coin to a beggar; it understands that an edifice that produces beggars needs restructuring.

~ Martin Luther King Jr.

Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It's a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.

~ Pema Chödrön

Hurt people, hurt people… but, they help them too.

~ Iain Corbett

(Curated and adapted for KUF from the 2025 Soul Matters materials on the theme ‘Cultivating Compassion’)

October 2, 2025

This list of questions is an aid for deep reflection. How you answer them is often less important than the journey they take you on. So, read through the list of questions 2-3 times until one question sticks out for you and captures your attention, or as some faith traditions say, until one of the questions “shimmers.” Or as we like to say, “Read over them until one of the questions picks you.” Once you’ve identified it, go deeper by asking yourself:

●       What might my inner wisdom be trying to say to me through this question?

●       How might this question be trying to wake me up or get me to realize something through this question?

1. Has compassion ever helped you find your way home?

2. When were you offered compassion in an unexpected or unique way.? 

3. What’s your first memory of being compassionate with yourself?

4. Who is to thank for the way compassion “naturally” arises in you?

5. Where did your unkind and self-critical inner voice come from? Or maybe the better question is, whose unkind and self-critical voice taught your brain how to talk?

6. What do you need to do to stay tender and compassionate in the face of our consistently cruel political culture that wants you to go numb?

7. Which of these self-diminishing cultural lies do you struggle with the most, maybe without even realizing it: 1. I am what I have, 2. I am what I do, 3. I am what other people say or think about me, 4. I am nothing more than my worst moment?

8. Is it possible that your self-improvement efforts have subtly become acts of self-aggression?

9. How would your feelings about and actions with that “difficult person” in your life change if you somehow discovered they were doing the best they can or that their aggravating behavior is not a character defect but a wound that runs deep?  

10. In a world that needs so much compassion, many of us feel tangled up in and worn down by compassion fatigue. How might that struggle be eased if you more regularly asked yourself: What's mine to do? What’s not mine to do? What’s mine to say? What’s not mine to say? What’s mine to care about? What’s not mine to care about?

11. Is it time to stop beating yourself up for that poor decision you made long ago? Is it time to remind yourself that you made the best decision you could have with the information and skills you had at the time?

12. What if your busy and important life is the true enemy of your compassion?

What’s your question? Your question may not be listed above. As always, if the above questions don't include what life is asking from you, spend the month listening to your days to find it.

(Curated and adapted for KUF from the 2025 Soul Matters materials on the theme ‘Cultivating Compassion')

It’s tempting to think of this month’s theme as one of our lighter, more pleasant ones. After all, compassion sounds…well, nice. It conjures warm feelings and tender thoughts. Images come to mind of people telling each other they are holding them in their hearts. It would seem to be all about emotional connection and empathetic feeling.

But then along comes a quote like this:

“Compassion hurts. When you feel connected to everything, you also feel responsible for everything. And you cannot turn away. Your destiny is bound with the destinies of others.”   - Andrew Boyd

Or this:

“True compassion is to engage in the suffering of others.”

- The Charter for Compassion

Both remind us that compassion is not just niceness and thoughtful feelings. It’s about something deeper: an impulse that drives us to action.

Indeed, that may be compassion’s defining characteristic; it is distinguished by doing. To feel the pain of another, empathy has that covered. But compassion takes it a step further. It urges us to do something about that pain.    

In other words, compassion calls us to change things! It’s not just about comforting others; it’s about our comfort getting disturbed. It’s about connecting with another’s pain and struggle so deeply that we can’t rest until they rest. When we feel compassion - real compassion - we don’t just understand another’s pain, we want it to stop. And then we do what’s needed to make it stop.

And if that’s the case, then maybe compassion’s question for us this month isn’t what we first imagined. Instead of asking us, “How deeply are you able to feel?” maybe it’s asking, “What are you prepared to do?

(Curated and adapted for KUF from the 2025 Soul Matters materials on the theme ‘Cultivating Compassion')

Ask Them About Compassion

One of the best ways to explore our monthly themes is to have conversations about them with people who are close to you. It’s also a great way to deepen those relationships! Below is a list of questions to guide your conversation. Be sure to let your conversation partner know in advance that this won’t be a typical conversation. Telling them a bit about Soul Matters will help set the stage. Remember to also answer the questions yourself as they are meant to support a conversation, not just a time of quizzing them.

Come to your group ready to share what surprised you about the conversation and what gift or insight it gave you. As always, keep a lookout for how your inner voice is trying to send you a message of comfort or challenge through these conversions with others.

Compassion Questions

• Who is to thank for the way compassion “naturally” arises in you?

• What’s your first memory of being compassionate with yourself? 

• Has your self-compassion gotten harder or easier as you’ve grown older?

• If asked, would your family members say you are good at being compassionate with yourself?

• If you could magically find a way to be more compassionate with one person in your life, who would it be? And why?

• Tell me about a time when you were offered compassion in an unexpected or unique way.

• What has life taught you about navigating compassionate fatigue?

• Tell me a story about a time when compassion brought you joy.

(Curated and adapted for KUF from the 2025 Soul Matters materials on the theme ‘Building Belonging’)

Intentional Compassion

We are mixed and complicated creatures. Our natural instinct and inclination to be compassionate sits right alongside many competing and conflicting instincts and urges. So it’s not surprising that research indicates that our desire to be more compassionate needs the support of us pairing it with a commitment to setting intentions.

So for this exercise, you are challenged to engage in some intentional compassion. The instructions are simple, even though the application is not. Basically, you are asked to take a week and begin each day by setting an intention to be compassionate in a particular way.

Here’s one way to go about it:

• Set your intention as early in the day as you can.

• Prepare yourself by finding a private space where you can center yourself by bringing awareness to your breath and calming your body.

• Think about the day ahead of you and identify likely situations you will face where greater compassion might be needed.

• Then with that in mind set an intention related to those situations you’ve identified. Your intention can be as general or specific as feels right to you. Just make sure it is connected to the situation you want to focus on. For instance, a specific one might involve committing to being more compassionate with a particular co-worker or researching a social issue so you can figure out a way to get more involved, not just think about it. Similarly, a more general intention might have to do with a habit you want to cultivate, like being more encouraging with others or being less judgmental toward yourself. Click HERE for some ideas to get you thinking.

• Write down your intention in a few words on a small card or piece of paper that you can carry with you throughout the day.

• Revisit your intention throughout the day.

• At the end of the day, reflect on how your intention impacted your day.

(Curated and adapted for KUF from the 2025 Soul Matters materials on the theme ‘Cultivating Compassion')